19 days ago
20 days ago
Sarah McDonald is plain. She is white, but wishes she were Asian. She wishes her name was Sasha… or Kotoka. Something exotic. Something NOT Sarah, basically. Her Mom is an occupational therapist. Her father a surgeon. She has money, because, well, obviously her Dad is a surgeon. A brain surgeon, in fact. Or a heart one, she doesn’t even know! Sarah is numb. Her life has been one long numb “do-as-you’re-told” type of ride, where she has attended kindergarten all the way up to high school with pretty much all of the same people for her entire life. And now, high school is over. As of today. Tomorrow, she will no longer need to attend mandatory schooling. She hasn’t applied to any colleges, much to her father’s disapproval and her mother’s denial. Her mother is very religious and as a result, she often spends her days volunteering at the church when she is not being an occupational therapist. Sarah barely knows what her mother gets up to. She just knows that her mom is often devoting her life to someone else, whether that be her clients or Father Johnson or Dad.
Sarah wishes she were Asian. She doesn’t partake in any weirdo plastic surgery or anything, where she has made the shape and size of her eyes into something that resembles a pair of Asian eyes (whatever that means!). They are a little “too awake” looking for Sarah’s taste, but to some of her admirers, they are, in fact, a set of very charming eyes. When she puts on mascara, they really pop, making her look a little Ariana Grande, which is a huge compliment to anyone’s ears, I’m sure. Whatever the case, Sarah wishes she were Asian. She has gotten bitten by the youtube beauty guru bug, where more than half the tutorials are done by Asian-American women in their early 20s. These women have shaped and moulded Sarah’s life so much for the last bunch of years that she looks to these Asian women the way an Asian girl back in the 90s looked at Pamela Anderson on Home Improvements and thought, “I’d love to be blonde!” So there, the fact that Sarah wishes she were Asian isn’t really such a weird concept after all. It is a result of the world we currently live in.
Sarah is attractive but not attractive enough to get her through life easy breezy. She isn’t a model. She never will be. She just isn’t the model type, whatever that means. At some point in your life as a girl, you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I will never be a model. That is a job for some other girl. So you go find your path elsewhere, girlfriend.” Yes, those exact words are muttered by every girl around the world at some point in their lives. I mean, come on! Modeling is a great gig and wouldn’t it be great if I were Miranda Kerr. But only Miranda Kerr is Miranda Kerr and no matter what, I can’t take that away from her and I don’t want to be Gisele, I want to be Miranda. Gisele, you’re awesome but you don’t have those dimples.
Sarah was never the popular girl in high school. Obviously, she wanted to be. Don’t we all? Yes, we do. Like I said, she wasn’t not cute, so it’s not like she couldn’t BE in the popular crew, it’s just that… well, she doesn’t have the correct attitude. To be popular, you have to be confident. You have to be alpha. Having great hair and skin is very important. And in high school, having great skin is rare, so if you have great skin, your confidence level has remained high. Being popular is sort of like being a CEO. Don’t ever show weakness or a lack of ability. If you’re unsure, use your charms to obtain the knowledge you lack. Distract them with your perfect skin! Again, perfect skin is very rare, especially in high school, so if you got it, you’re pretty much golden.
As of tomorrow, Sarah no longer has to attend mandatory schooling. She is free to attend college if she wishes. She can travel, get married, have children. I mean, she is only 18, so getting married and having kids is not exactly what she’s thinking of doing, but she is aware that back in the old days, those things were considered normal at her age. Anyway, these days, women don’t do those things until they’re practically 35, especially if you’re in a big city like Los Angeles or New York or New Jersey! She lives in New Jersey by the way. Women in Jersey are quite progressive depending on where they live. Sarah wants to be a graphic designer possibly, because there’s quite a demand for graphic designers. What she really wants to be is an interior designer, but that takes more guts, she thinks. The truth is she is too insecure to say she wants to be an interior designer. The house she grew up in isn’t exactly “chic”. Her mother has no taste and her father has none either for that matter. Sarah always wished her house looked a “certain way.” But it didn’t. She flipped through magazines wishing her house looked the way it did in the magazines. She tried rearranging some of the furniture in her room, but it never changed a thing. The furniture pieces were wrong to begin with and her room is small. Moving those things around never improved a thing. Sarah always though things “should” be a certain way, that they needed to be fixed or that there was a way to make things good, instantly. Later in life, she will come to realize that that’s bullshit and there’s no fixing things for the most part. However, the fact that there never should be “a should” will be the biggest relief in her life. Once you take the “you should” out of your life, everything in life gets easier.
In fact, life’s a piece of cake after learning that fact. Take the pressure off. Enjoy life.